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Do Manners Matter?

Some say being polite is becoming a thing of the past. Should we care?

From the September 2020 Issue
Lexile: 600L-700L, 800L-900L
Guided Reading Level: R
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Here’s a scene you might be familiar with: Your family is sitting around the dinner table, but no one is paying attention to the steaming plates of spaghetti in front of them. Your older sister is taking a selfie with her food for Instagram. Your dad is busy picking salad out of his teeth. Your mom is responding to work emails. Oh, and your little brother just let out a huge, disgusting burp—and, as usual, that burp wasn’t followed by an “excuse me.”

Several examples of bad manners are on display at this dinner table. And scenes like this are happening across America. A whopping 74 percent of Americans think that people are getting ruder overall.

But is that such a bad thing? In the age of texting and TikTok, do manners even matter anymore?

Here’s a scene you might be familiar with: Your family is sitting around the dinner table. But no one is paying attention to the spaghetti. Your older sister is taking a selfie with her food for Instagram. Your dad is busy picking salad out of his teeth. Your mom is responding to work emails. Oh, and your little brother just let out a huge, gross burp. As usual, he didn’t say “excuse me.”

There are many examples of bad manners at this dinner table. And scenes like this are happening across America. Seventy-four percent of Americans think that people are getting ruder.

But is that such a bad thing? In the time of texting and TikTok, do manners even matter anymore?

The Purpose of Politeness  

Manners are a set of rules for how people treat each other and act when they’re together. According to experts, manners show others that you respect and care about them—whether you’re holding the door open for someone, giving up your seat for an elderly person, or simply saying “please” and “thank you.”

“Good manners make other people feel good—they put people at ease,” says Alex J. Packer, author of the manners guide How Rude!

On top of making others happy, manners can also help keep them healthy. By covering your mouth when sneezing or coughing, you can protect people around you from getting sick. What could be more caring than that?

And having good manners isn’t just good for others. It’s also good for you. Studies have shown that kids with good manners grow up to be more successful adults. They get higher grades in school and impress people more easily.

Manners are a set of rules. They tell people how to treat each other and act when they’re together. According to experts, manners show others that you respect and care about them. For example, you might hold the door open for someone. You might give your seat to an older person. Or you might simply say “please” and “thank you.”

“Good manners make other people feel good. They put people at ease,” says Alex J. Packer. He’s the author of the manners guide How Rude!

On top of making others happy, manners can also help keep them healthy. By covering your mouth when sneezing or coughing, you can protect people around you from getting sick. What could be more caring than that?

And having good manners isn’t just good for others. It’s also good for you. Studies have shown that kids with good manners grow up to be more successful adults. They get higher grades in school and impress people more easily.

Silly Rules

But some people argue that many manners are a waste of time—that they’re annoying and make it take longer to get important things done. Your days are already full of homework, after-school activities, and time with your family. You can’t spend precious minutes figuring out the proper way to fold a napkin.

Besides, our society has become more casual. We send texts instead of handwritten cards. We say “no prob” instead of “you’re welcome.” It’s not that people don’t care about each other; it’s just that the way we act is less formal than in the past. Practicing traditional manners might make you feel old-fashioned—even kind of dorky.

And think about the serious problems the world is facing today: war, disease, and pollution, to name just a few. Does it really matter if you have your elbows on the table or loudly slurp your soup?

Manners may not seem like a big deal. Still, some say you can’t go wrong by being polite. It’s better for you and everyone else too.

But some people argue that many manners are a waste of time. They say that manners are annoying and make it take longer to get things done. Your days are already full of homework, after-school activities, and time with your family. You don’t have time to figure out the right way to fold a napkin.

Besides, people today are more casual. We send texts instead of handwritten cards. We say “no prob” instead of “you’re welcome.” It’s not that people don’t care about each other. It’s just that the way we act is less formal than in the past. Practicing traditional manners might make you feel old-fashioned and dorky.

And think about the serious problems in the world today. We’re facing issues like war, disease, and pollution. Does it really matter if you have your elbows on the table? And who cares if you loudly slurp your soup?

Manners may not seem like a big deal. Still, some say you can’t go wrong by being polite. It’s better for you and everyone else too.

This article was originally published in the September 2020 issue.

This article was originally published in the September 2020 issue.

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Answer Key (1)
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More About the Story

Complexity Factors

Purpose

The debate presents opposing views on the importance of good manners.  

Structure

The text begins with a scenario in which bad manners are on display. This is followed by a section that argues that manners are important and a section that argues that they aren’t.

Language

The language is conversational and includes some rhetorical questions.

Knowledge Demands 

The text refers to TikTok and Instagram.

Step-by-Step Lesson Plan

1. Preparing to Read

Have students preview the text features. Ask:

  • What is the topic of the debate? (Prompt students to use the debate title and the heading on the chart as clues.)
  • What do you think are the two sides of the issue?

2. Reading the Debate 

Read the debate as a class or in small groups.  A lower-Lexile version is also available. 

Have students read the debate a second time. Prompt them to mark the types of support the author presents to back up each side, including:

  • Facts and statistics (F/S)
  • Quotes from experts (Q)
  • Stories or examples (EX)

3. Discussing

As a class or in groups, have students discuss:

  • Which evidence is most effective in supporting each side?
  • Is one side stronger than the other? Why?
  • What is your opinion? What evidence do you find the most convincing?
  • For more-advanced students: Do you think the author has a preferred point of view on this issue? What is your evidence?

4. Writing

Have students complete the chart in the magazine.

Distribute the activity “Write an Opinion Essay” (available in your Resources tab). The lower-level version guides students to write a three-paragraph essay on the debate topic. The higher-level version prompts them to bring in additional evidence and write six paragraphs, including a rebuttal of the other side. With either version, hand out our Opinion Writing Toolkit (also in your Resources tab), which offers writing tips and transition words.

Text-to-Speech