Article
Art by Carolyn Ridsdale
Debate,

When Does Teasing Go Too Far?

Joking can bring us together—but if we aren’t careful, it can push people away

By Gabby Bing
From the October/November 2025 Issue
Complexity Factors
  • Purpose
    The debate explains why teasing–and being teased–can be fun, how we know when teasing is OK, and how we can identify when teasing goes too far.
  • Structure
    The debate is structured in two informational passages, each providing reasons and examples to support each side of the debate.
  • Language
    The language is conversational and mostly straightforward.
  • Knowledge Demands
    No prior knowledge is required. Mario Kart and UNO are mentioned.
Lexile: 600L-700L, 800L-900L
Featured Skill: Main Idea and Supporting Details,
Standards
  • Common Core
    Anchor Standards: R.1, R.2, R.6, R.8, W.1, W.2 Grade 4: RI.4.1, RI.4.2, RI.4.6, RI.4.8, W.4.1, W.4.2 Grade 5: RI.5.1, RI.5.2, RI.5.6, RI.5.8, W.5.1, W.5.2 Grade 6: RI.6.1, RI.6.2, RI.6.6, RI.6.8, W.6.1, W.6.2
  • TEKS
    Grade 4: 4.3b; 4.6; 4.7; 4.9d, e; 4.12c, d Grade 5: 5.3b; 5.6; 5.7; 5.9d, e; 5.12c, d Grade 6: 6.2b; 6.5; 6.6; 6.8d, e; 6.11b, c, d
  • NCSS
    1. Culture 4. Individual development and identity

Presentation View
See Student View

Lexile® measure

  • Reading Level (800L-900L)
  • Reading Level (600L-700L)
Download and Print
Lower Level (600L-700L)

Want to hear this story read aloud by a Storyworks writer? Find the audio read-aloud in your Resources tab. 

Want to hear this story read aloud by a Storyworks writer? Click here!

Some call it a roast. Others call it a diss. No matter the name, you probably know it when you see it: teasing. 

Teasing is a normal part of healthy relationships (and not just among humans—gorillas and chimpanzees do it too!). But when jokes are thrown around, it isn’t always easy to predict what will happen next. One minute, everyone is laughing. The next? Someone’s feelings are hurt. 

So how do you know when teasing stops being fun and crosses the line? 

Some call it roasting. Others call it dissing. No matter the name, you probably know it when you see it. Teasing.

Teasing is a normal part of healthy relationships. (Even animals like gorillas and chimpanzees tease each other!) But joking around can be tricky. One minute, everyone is laughing. The next? Someone’s feelings are hurt.

How do you know when teasing stops being fun and goes too far?

A Good Laugh

There’s a reason many people enjoy teasing their friends—and being teased right back! “It’s a way for us to bond with each other,” says Andrew Tegeler, a school counselor in New York City. 

Joking around with friends can be a blast. When you know someone well, you can trust that their teases are meant to be playful, not hurtful. 

Say your bestie gives you a hard time for losing at Mario Kart. You’d have no problem firing back, “That’s big talk for someone who never wins UNO!” Moments like these make for a good laugh. Plus, studies show that affectionate teasing can make friends feel even closer. 

A lighthearted tease can also help you break the ice with a new person. Maybe you see the new kid at school packed pineapple pizza for lunch. Do they laugh when you joke about it? If they do—and tease you back for snacking on pickles and peanut butter—that’s a sign that your joke helped you connect. But if you’re ever in doubt, just ask if the joke was OK. 

“If they say yes, you can move on without worrying,” says Tegeler. 

There’s a reason many people enjoy teasing their friends—and being teased right back! “It’s a way for us to bond with each other,” says Andrew Tegeler. He’s a school counselor in New York City.

Joking around with friends can be fun when you know they mean to be playful—not hurtful. Say your bestie teases you for losing at a video game. You might joke back, “That’s funny from someone who never wins at card games!” Moments like these can lead to a good laugh. Plus, studies show that gentle teasing can make friends feel even closer. 

A silly joke can also help you make a new friend. Maybe you see the new kid at school packed pineapple pizza for lunch, and you joke about it. If they laugh—and tease you back for eating pickles and peanut butter—that means your joke helped you connect. But if you’re not sure, just ask if the teasing was OK.

“If they say yes, you can move on without worrying,” says Tegeler.

Not OK

But even when teasing is funny, that doesn’t mean it should go on forever. If you’re the one doing the teasing, keep an eye out for clues that it’s time to move on. If someone stops smiling, goes silent, or walks away, that’s your cue to quit joking around. Teasing should never continue after someone tells you—or shows you—that they want it to stop. When this happens again and again, it’s not teasing anymore. It’s bullying. 

Teasing can also go too far when it’s about something we can’t control or change—like our height, skin color, accent, or even what we can afford to buy. Jokes that make us feel excluded for who we are, rather than included in the fun, are not OK. Research shows that this kind of teasing can make people feel sad, anxious, or bad about themselves. So if it happens to you—or someone else—speak up. 

And what if you’re the one to accidentally cross a line? Be ready to apologize and talk it out. “This shows the other person that you care about them,” says Tegeler. After you clear the air, who knows? You might go right back to having fun!

Even when teasing is fun, it shouldn’t go on forever. If you’re the one teasing, look for signs that it’s time to stop. If someone stops smiling, goes silent, or walks away, the jokes should end. Teasing should never continue after someone says—or shows—they don’t like it. When this keeps happening, it’s not teasing anymore. It’s bullying.

Teasing can also go too far when it’s about things we can’t change—like our height, skin color, accent, or what we can afford to buy. Jokes that make us feel left out because of who we are aren’t OK. Research shows this kind of teasing can make us feel sad or bad about ourselves. So if it happens to you—or someone else—speak up.

And if you accidentally hurt someone’s feelings? Say sorry and ask to talk about it. “This shows the other person that you care about them,” says Tegeler. And afterward, who knows? You might go back to having fun! 

Give Your Advice!

1. Read the article and the letter below by Zayna.

2. Write Zayna a letter of advice, telling her what she should do. Use information from the article to support your advice.

Give Your Advice!

1. Read the article and the letter below by Claire.

2. Write Claire a letter of advice, telling her what she should do. Use information from the article to support your advice.

Art by Carolyn Ridsdale

Dear Storyworks,

The new kid at school, Chris, had a really embarrassing moment in the cafeteria today. He didn’t just fall. He slid through a puddle of chocolate milk, and the corn on his tray flew into the air like confetti. (Thankfully, he didn’t hurt himself!)

At first, the room was silent. Then someone yelled out like a baseball umpire . . . “SAFE!” Everyone was cracking up. Chris laughed a bit too, but now I’m not sure if he really thought the joke was funny. 

Was the teasing OK? What should I do now? 


Thanks,

Zayna

Dear Storyworks,

The new kid at school, Chris, had an embarrassing moment in the cafeteria today. He slipped and fell on a puddle of chocolate milk. The corn on his tray flew into the air. (Thankfully, he didn’t hurt himself!)

The room was silent at first. Then someone yelled out like a baseball umpire . . . “SAFE!” Everyone laughed. Chris laughed a bit too. But now I’m not sure if he really thought the joke was funny.

Was the teasing OK? What should I do now? 


Thanks,

Zayna

This article was originally published in the October/November 2025 issue.

This article was originally published in the October/November 2025 issue.

Audio ()
Activities (6)
Skills Activities
Skills Activities in Spanish
Quizzes (1)
Answer Key (1)
Are there Spanish-speaking students in your classroom? Explore our Debates En Español collection to find 10 debates in both English and Spanish, plus teaching tips and writing support in both languages.
Audio ()
Activities (6) Download All Activities
Skills Activities
Skills Activities in Spanish
Quizzes (1)
Answer Key (1)
Table of Contents
Step-by-Step Lesson Plan
Download the Lesson Plan

Click here for great ideas for using Storyworks as a whole class, in small groups, or independently!

Click here for great ideas for using Storyworks as a whole class, in small groups, or independently!

1. Preparing to Read

  • Have students preview the text features, including the headline, subhead, section headers, images, and the “What Do You Think?” box or the student letters, depending on the style of debate.
  • Invite students to do a short turn-and-talk with a partner to determine the topic of the debate and what the two (or more) sides might be.
  • If a video is included with the debate, show it to the class.
  • Take a quick pulse check by a show of hands to see where students think they will stand on the issue. Let them know that they may change their minds as they read evidence on each side and hear arguments from their classmates.
  • Have students preview the text features, including the headline, subhead, section headers, images, and the “What Do You Think?” box or the student letters, depending on the style of debate.
  • Invite students to do a short turn-and-talk with a partner to determine the topic of the debate and what the two (or more) sides might be.
  • If a video is included with the debate, show it to the class.
  • Take a quick pulse check by a show of hands to see where students think they will stand on the issue. Let them know that they may change their minds as they read evidence on each side and hear arguments from their classmates.

2. Reading the Debate

  • Read the debate as a class or in small groups. For striving readers or multilingual learners, assign the lower-Lexile version. You can also play the author read-aloud, on either level, for the class as they follow along.
  • Have a brief check-in as a class to confirm what the sides of the debate are and explain any words or ideas students don’t understand.
  • Direct students to read the debate again, annotating the text to show the types of support the author uses to back up each side. For example:
    • F/S: Facts and statistics
    • Q: Quotes from experts
    • EX: Examples or stories
  • Read the debate as a class or in small groups. For striving readers or multilingual learners, assign the lower-Lexile version. You can also play the author read-aloud, on either level, for the class as they follow along.
  • Have a brief check-in as a class to confirm what the sides of the debate are and explain any words or ideas students don’t understand.
  • Direct students to read the debate again, annotating the text to show the types of support the author uses to back up each side. For example:
    • F/S: Facts and statistics
    • Q: Quotes from experts
    • EX: Examples or stories

3. Discussing the Debate

  • Project or distribute the Debate Anchor Chart, which provides guidelines for holding a civil debate and offers sentence starters for sharing opinions.
  • In small groups, have students discuss the debate, thinking about these questions:
    • Which evidence is most effective in supporting each side?
    • Is one side stronger than the other? If so, why?
    • What is your opinion on the issue? What evidence from the debate leads you to hold this opinion?
    • Does your support for one side or the other depend on the circumstances? (Is there an “It depends” option?) If so, in what circumstances would you take each side?
  • Come back together as a class and invite students to share what they discussed in their groups and what their opinions are. Ask if anyone changed their mind based on what they read or discussed. Let them explain why they changed their mind.
  • Project or distribute the Debate Anchor Chart, which provides guidelines for holding a civil debate and offers sentence starters for sharing opinions.
  • In small groups, have students discuss the debate, thinking about these questions:
    • Which evidence is most effective in supporting each side?
    • Is one side stronger than the other? If so, why?
    • What is your opinion on the issue? What evidence from the debate leads you to hold this opinion?
    • Does your support for one side or the other depend on the circumstances? (Is there an “It depends” option?) If so, in what circumstances would you take each side?
  • Come back together as a class and invite students to share what they discussed in their groups and what their opinions are. Ask if anyone changed their mind based on what they read or discussed. Let them explain why they changed their mind.

4. Skill Building and Writing

Distribute or digitally assign the Write an Opinion Essay skill builder, available on two levels and in Spanish. It will guide students through collecting supporting evidence and crafting an opinion essay. The higher-level version invites students to bring in their own additional evidence and write a rebuttal of the other side. The Opinion Essay Tool Kit offers writing tips including sentence starters and transition words. (If the debate asks students to write a letter giving advice on a question, distribute the Give Your Advice letter-writing template.)

Distribute or digitally assign the Write an Opinion Essay skill builder, available on two levels and in Spanish. It will guide students through collecting supporting evidence and crafting an opinion essay. The higher-level version invites students to bring in their own additional evidence and write a rebuttal of the other side. The Opinion Essay Tool Kit offers writing tips including sentence starters and transition words. (If the debate asks students to write a letter giving advice on a question, distribute the Give Your Advice letter-writing template.)

Text-to-Speech