Illustration of a birthday party with lots of gifts
Art By RJ Matson, Shutterstock.com (background)

Should Gifts Get Opened at the Birthday Party?

Some kids have taken present opening out of their party plans. Is that a good idea?

By Talia Cowen
From the October/November 2023 Issue
Lexile: 700L-800L, 800L-900L
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Imagine you’re at your classmate Jay’s birthday party. You’ve already played party games, belted out “Happy Birthday,” and devoured a slice of Funfetti cake. Finally, it’s time to open presents! You can’t wait for Jay to see what you got him: that Star Wars LEGO set he’s been talking about for weeks.

Everyone sits around Jay while he tears the wrapping paper off his gifts. A few minutes in, he digs into a sparkly bag, and draws out . . . the exact same LEGO set you got him. Uh-oh. Next, Jay grabs your gift from the pile and rips off the wrapping. His face falls when he realizes he’s received two identical gifts. “Thanks,” he mutters nervously, burying them both in his pile of presents. 

It’s a situation that doesn’t feel good to you—or Jay. But could it have been avoided? Some think so. They say that the best time to open gifts is after the party has ended and the guests have gone home. But others argue that opening gifts in front of guests is a tradition. 

What do you think? Should birthday kids open gifts at the party or in private?

Imagine you’re at a birthday party for your classmate Jay. You’ve played party games, sung “Happy Birthday,” and eaten cake. Now it’s time to open presents! You can’t wait for Jay to see what you got him: the Star Wars LEGO set he’s been talking about for weeks.

Everyone sits around Jay while he tears open his presents. He grabs a gift bag and pulls out . . . the same LEGO set you got him. Uh-oh. Next, Jay grabs your gift. He rips off the wrapping. And his face falls when he sees that he’s received two of the same gift. “Thanks,” he mutters, looking uneasy. He buries both gifts in his pile of presents.

It’s a situation that doesn’t feel good to you—or to Jay. Could it have been avoided? Some think so. They say that the best time to open gifts is after the party has ended and the guests have gone home. But others argue that opening gifts in front of guests is a tradition.

What do you think? Should birthday kids open gifts at the party? Or should they open them in private?

Ruining the Fun

RJ Matson

Many people think that opening gifts at the party is a recipe for disaster. When the birthday kid is unwrapping presents in front of an audience, they can have a hard time hiding their disappointment if they get a gift they don’t really like or need. That can lead to hurt feelings and damaged friendships. 

And even if the kid opens only awesome presents, that doesn’t necessarily mean the party was a success. At worst, opening amazing gifts in public can make others jealous. And at best, the audience gets bored. Birthday parties are supposed to be filled with joy and excitement—not grumbling and yawning.

Plus, being able to wait is an important skill. In fact, research shows that kids who can wait patiently generally grow up to be more successful adults. By delaying the gift opening until after the party, birthday kids are exercising patience that will serve them well later in life.

Finally, presents shouldn’t be the point of a party. “Opening gifts at the party shifts the attention from friendships and everyone’s enjoyment to gifts,” explains Alex J. Packer, author of the manners guide How Rude! After all, birthday parties usually last only a few hours. Why waste time unwrapping the gifts when you could be squeezing in more fun? 

Many people think that opening gifts at the party is a recipe for disaster. When opening presents in front of others, it can be hard to hide disappointment if a gift isn’t really liked or needed. That can lead to hurt feelings. It could even damage friendships.

What if the kid opens only awesome presents? That doesn’t mean the party was a success. At worst, opening awesome gifts in public can make others jealous. And at best, people get bored. Birthday parties are supposed to be filled with joy and excitement—not grumbling and yawning.

Plus, being able to wait is an important skill. In fact, research shows that kids who can wait patiently grow up to be more successful adults. When birthday kids wait until after the party to open gifts, they are practicing patience. This skill will be useful later in life.

Finally, presents shouldn’t be the point of a party. “Opening gifts at the party shifts the attention from friendships—and everyone’s enjoyment—to gifts,” explains Alex J. Packer. Packer is the author of How Rude!, a guide to good manners. After all, birthday parties usually last only a few hours. Why waste time unwrapping gifts when you could be squeezing in more fun?

No Greater Joy

RJ Matson

But to others, opening presents is a beloved—and expected—birthday party tradition in the United States. A party without opening gifts would be like one without a cake! 

And for many gift givers, there’s no greater joy than seeing a birthday kid’s reaction to a gift they’ve carefully chosen. Studies show that giving gifts makes kids happier than receiving them.

Even if an awkward situation does arise, it’s a great opportunity for the birthday kid to practice showing gratitude. According to Catherine Newman, author of What Can I Say?, birthday kids need to “respond very enthusiastically to every gift—regardless of if it’s the best thing you ever got or if it’s something you don’t want at all.” Receiving gifts (good and bad) is a part of life, so graciously accepting them is an important skill to hone. And hey, there’s no better time to practice skills you’ll need for the year ahead than on your birthday!

But to others, opening presents is a beloved birthday party tradition in the United States. A lot of  people expect it to be part of the party. They feel that a party without opening gifts would be like a party without cake!

And for many people, there’s no greater joy than seeing the birthday kid’s reaction to a gift they’ve carefully chosen. Studies show that giving gifts makes kids happier than receiving them.

Even if an uncomfortable situation does come up, it’s a chance for the birthday kid to practice showing thankfulness.  Catherine Newman, author of What Can I Say?, says that birthday kids need to “respond very enthusiastically to every gift . . . if it’s the best thing you ever got. Or if it’s something you don’t want at all.” Receiving gifts (good and bad) is a part of life. So accepting all gifts with kindness and excitement is an important skill to practice. And hey, there’s no better time than your birthday to practice skills you’ll need for the year ahead!

No Hurt Feelings

RJ Matson

Let’s get back to Jay’s party. Maybe he should have removed gift opening from his celebration. Or maybe, suggests Newman, he could have responded to the identical gift in a way that didn’t leave anyone with hurt feelings. Something like: “Wow! My friends know me so well that both of you got me the perfect thing!” Then everyone could have gone home with the best gift: having had a great time at the party. 

Let’s get back to Jay’s party. Maybe he should have opened gifts after the party. Or maybe, says Newman, he could have responded to the same gifts in a way that didn’t hurt anybody’s feelings. Something like: “Wow! My friends know me so well that both of you got me the perfect thing!” Then everyone could have gone home with the best gift: having had a great time at the party. 

What Do You Think?

Should gifts get opened at the birthday party? Go back to the article and write down reasons to support each side of the debate. State your opinion in one sentence, which can be the topic sentence for an opinion essay on this subject.

What Do You Think?

Should gifts get opened at the birthday party? Go back to the article and write down reasons to support each side of the debate. State your opinion in one sentence, which can be the topic sentence for an opinion essay on this subject.

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This article was originally published in the October/November 2023 issue.

This article was originally published in the October/November 2023 issue.

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Activities (5)
Quizzes (1)
Answer Key (1)
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Activities (5) Download All Activities
Quizzes (1)
Answer Key (1)
Step-by-Step Lesson Plan

1. Preparing to Read

Have students preview the text features. Ask:

  • What is the topic of the debate? (Prompt students to use the debate title and the heading on the chart as clues.)
  • What do you think are the two sides of the issue?

2. Reading the Debate 

Read the debate as a class or in small groups.  A lower-Lexile version is available on Storyworks Digital. 

Have students read the debate a second time. Prompt them to mark the types of support the author presents to back up each side, including:

  • Facts and statistics (F/S)
  • Quotes from experts (Q)
  • Stories or examples (EX)

3. Discussing

As a class or in groups, have students discuss:

  • Which evidence is most effective in supporting each side?
  • Is one side stronger than the other? Why?
  • What is your opinion? What evidence do you find the most convincing?
  • For more-advanced students: Do you think the author has a preferred point of view on this issue? What is your evidence?

4. Writing

Have students complete the chart in the magazine.

Distribute the activity “Write an Opinion Essay.” The lower-level version guides students to write a three-paragraph essay on the debate topic. The higher-level version prompts them to bring in additional evidence and write six paragraphs, including a rebuttal of the other side. With either version, hand out our Opinion Writing Toolkit, which offers writing tips and transition words.

Text-to-Speech