Should Gifts Get Opened at the Birthday Party?

Imagine you’re at your classmate Jay’s birthday party. You’ve already played party games, belted out “Happy Birthday,” and devoured a slice of Funfetti cake. Finally, it’s time to open presents! You can’t wait for Jay to see what you got him: that Star Wars LEGO set he’s been talking about for weeks.

Everyone sits around Jay while he tears the wrapping paper off his gifts. A few minutes in, he digs into a sparkly bag, and draws out . . . the exact same LEGO set you got him. Uh-oh. Next, Jay grabs your gift from the pile and rips off the wrapping. His face falls when he realizes he’s received two identical gifts. “Thanks,” he mutters nervously, burying them both in his pile of presents. 

It’s a situation that doesn’t feel good to you—or Jay. But could it have been avoided? Some think so. They say that the best time to open gifts is after the party has ended and the guests have gone home. But others argue that opening gifts in front of guests is a tradition. 

What do you think? Should birthday kids open gifts at the party or in private?

Imagine you’re at a birthday party for your classmate Jay. You’ve played party games, sung “Happy Birthday,” and eaten cake. Now it’s time to open presents! You can’t wait for Jay to see what you got him: the Star Wars LEGO set he’s been talking about for weeks.

Everyone sits around Jay while he tears open his presents. He grabs a gift bag and pulls out . . . the same LEGO set you got him. Uh-oh. Next, Jay grabs your gift. He rips off the wrapping. And his face falls when he sees that he’s received two of the same gift. “Thanks,” he mutters, looking uneasy. He buries both gifts in his pile of presents.

It’s a situation that doesn’t feel good to you—or to Jay. Could it have been avoided? Some think so. They say that the best time to open gifts is after the party has ended and the guests have gone home. But others argue that opening gifts in front of guests is a tradition.

What do you think? Should birthday kids open gifts at the party? Or should they open them in private?

Many people think that opening gifts at the party is a recipe for disaster. When the birthday kid is unwrapping presents in front of an audience, they can have a hard time hiding their disappointment if they get a gift they don’t really like or need. That can lead to hurt feelings and damaged friendships. 

And even if the kid opens only awesome presents, that doesn’t necessarily mean the party was a success. At worst, opening amazing gifts in public can make others jealous. And at best, the audience gets bored. Birthday parties are supposed to be filled with joy and excitement—not grumbling and yawning.

Plus, being able to wait is an important skill. In fact, research shows that kids who can wait patiently generally grow up to be more successful adults. By delaying the gift opening until after the party, birthday kids are exercising patience that will serve them well later in life.

Finally, presents shouldn’t be the point of a party. “Opening gifts at the party shifts the attention from friendships and everyone’s enjoyment to gifts,” explains Alex J. Packer, author of the manners guide How Rude! After all, birthday parties usually last only a few hours. Why waste time unwrapping the gifts when you could be squeezing in more fun? 

Many people think that opening gifts at the party is a recipe for disaster. When opening presents in front of others, it can be hard to hide disappointment if a gift isn’t really liked or needed. That can lead to hurt feelings. It could even damage friendships.

What if the kid opens only awesome presents? That doesn’t mean the party was a success. At worst, opening awesome gifts in public can make others jealous. And at best, people get bored. Birthday parties are supposed to be filled with joy and excitement—not grumbling and yawning.

Plus, being able to wait is an important skill. In fact, research shows that kids who can wait patiently grow up to be more successful adults. When birthday kids wait until after the party to open gifts, they are practicing patience. This skill will be useful later in life.

Finally, presents shouldn’t be the point of a party. “Opening gifts at the party shifts the attention from friendships—and everyone’s enjoyment—to gifts,” explains Alex J. Packer. Packer is the author of How Rude!, a guide to good manners. After all, birthday parties usually last only a few hours. Why waste time unwrapping gifts when you could be squeezing in more fun?

But to others, opening presents is a beloved—and expected—birthday party tradition in the United States. A party without opening gifts would be like one without a cake! 

And for many gift givers, there’s no greater joy than seeing a birthday kid’s reaction to a gift they’ve carefully chosen. Studies show that giving gifts makes kids happier than receiving them.

Even if an awkward situation does arise, it’s a great opportunity for the birthday kid to practice showing gratitude. According to Catherine Newman, author of What Can I Say?, birthday kids need to “respond very enthusiastically to every gift—regardless of if it’s the best thing you ever got or if it’s something you don’t want at all.” Receiving gifts (good and bad) is a part of life, so graciously accepting them is an important skill to hone. And hey, there’s no better time to practice skills you’ll need for the year ahead than on your birthday!

But to others, opening presents is a beloved birthday party tradition in the United States. A lot of  people expect it to be part of the party. They feel that a party without opening gifts would be like a party without cake!

And for many people, there’s no greater joy than seeing the birthday kid’s reaction to a gift they’ve carefully chosen. Studies show that giving gifts makes kids happier than receiving them.

Even if an uncomfortable situation does come up, it’s a chance for the birthday kid to practice showing thankfulness.  Catherine Newman, author of What Can I Say?, says that birthday kids need to “respond very enthusiastically to every gift . . . if it’s the best thing you ever got. Or if it’s something you don’t want at all.” Receiving gifts (good and bad) is a part of life. So accepting all gifts with kindness and excitement is an important skill to practice. And hey, there’s no better time than your birthday to practice skills you’ll need for the year ahead!