Article
Illustrations by Carolyn Ridsdale

Is it Wrong to Cancel Plans?

Well, it depends.

By Kristin Lewis
From the February 2022 Issue
Lexile: 500L-600L, 600L-700L
Guided Reading Level: S
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We’ve all been there: You’ve made plans with a friend, but then something comes up. Maybe another kid invites you over. Or maybe you’re just not in the mood to hang out.

Most of us are taught that when we say we’ll do something, we should stick to it. But what happens when you want—or need—to back out?

We’ve all had this happen: You’ve made plans with a friend. But then something comes up. Maybe another kid invites you over. Or maybe you just don’t feel like hanging out.

Most of us learn we should stick to our plans. But what happens when you want—or need—to back out?

Asking Questions

To help you decide, ask yourself some questions. Will canceling plans hurt others? Are you bailing on something that can’t be rescheduled, like a birthday party? And most important, why do you really want to cancel?

Let’s look at a few situations you might find yourself in. Say you agreed to sit with your friend Ava at lunch. But then Angela, a kid you really want to be friends with, asks you to sit with her. Should you ditch Ava for Angela?

In this case, you should probably keep your promise and sit with Ava.

“Not just out of kindness but because it has to do with the kind of person you want to be,” says Phyllis Fagell, a middle school counselor. Ditching someone when you get a better offer is hurtful.

Now, let’s say you planned to play video games with another friend, Charlie. But then an amazing, onetime opportunity comes along—like a ticket to an Olivia Rodrigo concert.

Then what?

In this case, it’s probably OK to cancel. Just be honest. Charlie will likely understand, especially if you’re known for being truthful.

When you cancel, be sure to propose a new time to get together. That way Charlie will know you’re not just blowing him off.

To decide, ask yourself some questions. Will canceling plans hurt others? Are you backing out on a onetime event—like a birthday party? And why do you really want to cancel?

Let’s look at a few situations. Say you agreed to sit with your friend Ava at lunch. But then Angela asks you to sit with her. You really want to be friends with Angela. Should you dump Ava for Angela?

In this case, you should probably keep your promise and sit with Ava.

“Not just out of kindness but because it has to do with the kind of person you want to be,” says a middle school counselor. Switching plans when you get a better offer is hurtful.

Now, let’s say you planned to play video games with your friend Charlie. But then an amazing, onetime chance comes up. For example, a ticket to an Olivia Rodrigo concert.

Then what?

In this case, it’s probably OK to cancel. Just be honest. Charlie will likely understand.

When you cancel, be sure to suggest a new time to get together. That way Charlie will know you care about him.

Taking Care of Yourself

Of course, there will be times when you want to cancel because of something personal. Maybe you’re stressed out or super-tired.

In this case, the right thing may be to put your well-being first. Taking care of your own needs will help you be a better friend.

Again, be honest about it. You don’t have to explain why you need to cancel if you don’t want to. You can simply say you’re not feeling well and you won’t be able to make it.

But remember: If you’re always backing out at the last minute, your friends may not be so understanding.

After all, keeping your word means you’re someone who can be trusted.

Of course, sometimes you’ll want to cancel because of something personal. Maybe you’re stressed out or super-tired.

In this case, the right thing may be to put your well-being first. Taking care of your own needs will help you be a better friend.

Again, be honest about it. You don’t have to explain why you need to cancel. You can simply say you’re not feeling well. You won’t be able to make it.

But remember this. If you’re always backing out, your friends may not be so understanding.

After all, keeping your word means you can be trusted.

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Dear Storyworks,

Last week, I told my friend Matilda that Id stay over at her house on Saturday. I know shes excited. She and her dad bought my favorite foods: spicy fajitas and lemon cupcakes. Today, my friend Rio invited me to a Milwaukee Bucks game. I want to go. I mean, the Bucks! But I dont want to hurt Matildas feelings. What should I do?

Sasha

Dear Storyworks,

Last week, I told my friend Matilda that Id stay over at her house on Saturday. I know shes excited. She and her dad bought my favorite foods: spicy fajitas and lemon cupcakes. Today, my friend Rio invited me to a Milwaukee Bucks game. I want to go. I mean, the Bucks! But I dont want to hurt Matildas feelings. What should I do?

Sasha

Shutterstock.com

Dear Storyworks,

I have a ton of homework, and my stepdad told me for the millionth time I need to tidy up my room. I am overwhelmed to the point where I want to cry (and my room is a mess). The thing is, Im supposed to practice soccer with my friends after school. We have an important game tomorrow, and we need to win. Is it OK to cancel on them? And if I do, what do I say? Lie? Tell the truth? Help!

Seb

Dear Storyworks,

I have a ton of homework, and my stepdad told me for the millionth time I need to tidy up my room. I am overwhelmed to the point where I want to cry (and my room is a mess). The thing is, Im supposed to practice soccer with my friends after school. We have an important game tomorrow, and we need to win. Is it OK to cancel on them? And if I do, what do I say? Lie? Tell the truth? Help!

Seb

This article was originally published in the February 2022 issue.

This article was originally published in the February 2022 issue.

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Step-by-Step Lesson Plan

1. Preparing to Read

Have students preview the text features. Ask:

  • What is the topic of the debate? (Prompt students to use the debate title and images as clues.)
  • What do you think are the two sides of the issue?

2. Reading the Debate 

Read the debate as a class or in small groups.  A lower-Lexile version is available on Storyworks Digital. 

Have students read the debate a second time. Prompt them to mark the types of support the author presents to back up each side, including:

  • Facts and statistics (F/S)
  • Quotes from experts (Q)
  • Stories or examples (EX)

3. Discussing

As a class or in groups, have students discuss:

  • In what cases would taking one of the approaches to the problem be appropriate? What evidence does the debate present?
  • In what cases would taking the other approach to the problem be appropriate? What evidence does the debate present?

4. Reading the Letters

Have students read the two letters asking for advice having to do with the problem presented in the debate. Ask them to choose one letter to respond to.

5. Writing

Distribute the “Give Your Advice” letter-writing template. The template will walk them through developing their opinions and supporting them with reasons and evidence from the debate. Students might work in pairs or in small groups to complete the template, then write their final letters independently.

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