How Can You Help When Someone Is Being Bullied?

You’ve met girls like Mia—bossy girls who seem to have mysterious powers. Mia controls her friends like a wizard with an invisible wand. What she does, they do. When she decides someone is “out,” well, that’s that.

Like Ellie, a girl on her school bus.

One day Mia decided that nobody should sit near Ellie. So nobody did. Mia thought it was so funny how Ellie got on the bus and looked around for a seat, and how no one made room.

What Mia was doing—making another kid feel like a squashed bug—is bullying. There’s also a name for Mia’s and Ellie’s friends, who saw what was going on and did nothing. They’re known as bystanders.

In nearly 90 percent of all bullying episodes, there are bystanders; 75 percent of the time, those witnesses do nothing to stop the bullying.

Grace, one of Mia’s friends on the bus, had a choice: stay out of it, or step in and help.

You’ve met girls like Mia—bossy girls who seem to have strange powers. Mia controls her friends like a wizard with a wand. What she does, they do. When she decides someone is “out,” well, that’s that.

Like Ellie, a girl on her school bus.

One day Mia decided that no one should sit near Ellie. So no one did. Ellie got on the bus and looked around for a seat. No one made room. Mia thought it was funny.

Mia made Ellie feel like a squashed bug. That’s bullying. There’s also a name for the kids who saw what was going on and did nothing. They’re called bystanders.

Nine times out of 10, when someone is bullied, there are witnesses. Three times out of four, those people do nothing to stop the bullying.

Grace, one of Mia’s friends on the bus, had a choice: Stay out of it, or step in and help.

Tú conoces a niñas como Mia, chicas mandonas que parecen poseer misteriosos poderes. Mia controla a sus amigos como una maga con una varita invisible. Ellos hacen lo que ella haga. Cuando decide sacar a alguien del grupo, bueno, se acabó. 

Como le pasó a Ellie, una niña en el autobús escolar.

Un día, Mia decidió que nadie debía sentarse cerca de Ellie. Y todos obedecieron. Mia pensaba que era divertido ver a Ellie subir al autobús, buscar un asiento y que nadie le dejara un lugar. 

Lo que Mia hacía (hacer que otra persona se sienta como un insecto aplastado) se conoce como bullying, o sea, abuso. También hay otro nombre para los amigos de Mia y Ellie, que vieron lo que estaba pasando y no hicieron nada. Se conocen como espectadores. 

En cerca del 90 por ciento de los episodios de abuso, hay espectadores. En el 75 por ciento de las veces, esos espectadores no hacen nada para detener el abuso. 

Grace, una de las amigas de Mia en el autobús, tenía una opción: no involucrarse o intervenir y ayudar.

“I felt bad for Ellie, but I was afraid that if I did something to stick up for her, Mia would be mean to me,” Grace said. She didn’t want to be Mia’s next victim.

Grace also worried that by speaking up, she’d bring more attention to the problem. Ellie might not want that. She might even get mad at Grace. Maybe she should stay quiet on the bus, Grace thought, but tell Ellie in private that she was on her side.

Grace’s mom urged her to sit next to Ellie. But was that really a good idea? Perhaps the best thing for Grace to do was to mind her own business.

“I felt bad for Ellie, but I was afraid that if I did something to stick up for her, Mia would be mean to me,” Grace said. She didn’t want to be Mia’s next victim.

Grace also worried that by speaking up, she’d bring more attention to the problem. Ellie might not want that. Grace thought about staying quiet on the bus but telling Ellie in private that she was on her side. 

Grace’s mom urged her to sit next to Ellie. But was that really a good idea? Maybe the best thing for Grace to do was to mind her own business.

“Me sentí mal por Ellie, pero tenía miedo de que si hacía algo por defenderla, Mia me haría algo malo”, dice Grace. No quería ser la próxima víctima de Mia. 

A Grace también le preocupaba que, al protestar, llamaría más la atención al problema. Tal vez, Ellie no quería eso. Puede que hasta se enfadara con Grace. Podía quedarse callada en el autobús, pensó Grace, y decirle a Ellie en privado que ella estaba de su lado.

La mamá de Grace le pidió que se sentara al lado de Ellie. Pero, ¿era esa en realidad una buena idea? Quizá, lo mejor para Grace era no meterse. 

Of course, you should never risk your safety if the bullying is dangerous. If you could get hurt by stepping in, talk to an adult.

But Mia wasn’t exactly dangerous. She’s barely 4'5" and wears a Hello Kitty backpack. As with most bullies, her weapons are words, giggles, and mean looks, not fists or knives.

Very often, you can help by taking small and simple steps, like ignoring the bully and saying a kind word to the victim. This shows the bully that you don’t like what she’s doing. Kids like Mia need an audience or their shows come to an end.

Grace realized that what was happening on the bus was her business. So one day, she simply sat next to Ellie. And guess what Mia did?

Nothing.

Grace’s one act, like the wave of another invisible wand, broke the spell. Ellie was back “in.” Mia was still bossy and mean. But nobody was being bullied.

Grace helped. Would you?

Of course, you should never risk your safety. If you could get hurt by stepping in, talk to an adult.

But Mia wasn’t exactly dangerous. She’s barely 4'5" and wears a Hello Kitty backpack. Her weapons aren’t fists and knives. They’re words, giggles, and mean looks.

Often, you can help by taking small and simple steps. You can ignore the bully. You can say a kind word to the victim. This shows the bully that you don’t like what she’s doing. Kids like Mia need an audience, or their show comes to an end.

Grace realized that what was happening on the bus was her business. So one day, she sat next to Ellie. And guess what Mia did?

Nothing.

Grace’s one act, like the wave of another wand, broke the spell. Ellie was back “in.” Mia was still bossy and mean. But nobody was being bullied.

Grace helped. Would you?

Por supuesto, nunca deberías ponerte en riesgo si el abuso es peligroso. Si puedes terminar herido por intervenir, habla con un adulto. 

Pero Mia no era precisamente peligrosa. Medía apenas 4’5” y llevaba una mochila de Hello Kitty. Como la mayoría de los abusadores, sus armas son las palabras, las risitas y las miradas serias, no los puños o las navajas. 

A menudo, puedes ayudar dando pasos pequeños y sencillos, como ignorar al abusador y ofrecer una palabra amable a la víctima. Esto le deja saber al abusador que no te gusta lo que está haciendo. Los niños como Mia necesitan una audiencia para que sus espectáculos continúen.

Grace se dio cuenta de que sí era su problema lo que estaba pasando en el autobús. Así que un día, simplemente, se sentó al lado de Ellie. Y adivinen qué hizo Mia. 

Nada.

El simple acto de Grace, cual varita mágica, rompió el hechizo. Ellie volvió a ser parte del grupo. Mia todavía era antipática y mandona, pero no había abusos. 

Grace ayudó. ¿Lo harías tú?